What is Attachment-Focused EMDR?
How integrating attachment work into EMDR can help you heal from trauma and chronic anxiety
4 min read
Attachment-focused EMDR is a specialized treatment that is especially useful if you are struggling with the effects of interpersonal or relational trauma. Chronic negative or harmful experiences in close relationships, especially those that occur during formative years, can shape our brains when they are most easily influenced, causing deep-rooted feelings of fear, insecurity, and confusion. When these wounds go unaddressed, they can manifest as anxiety and self esteem issues in adulthood.
At the core of relational trauma is often an insecure attachment style. If a child’s emotional needs were not adequately met, they may develop insecure attachment styles, leading to a constant sense of danger, uncertainty, or unworthiness. These feelings are not always conscious but can surface as anxiety when triggered by situations that remind the person of past relational wounds. For instance, feelings of being misunderstood or abandoned can provoke intense anxiety or panic.
“Many people who come to work with me know that they feel anxious a lot, but often don’t really understand why or how to hold onto hope that it could be different,” says Nithyaa Venkataramani, LMSW, a psychotherapist at Downtown Somatic Therapy who specializes in EMDR with an attachment focus and DBT. “One of the things I wish was spoken about more is how normal it is for your body to respond with overactive anxiety responses and your mind to race with hypercritical thoughts when you’ve been made to feel guilty, wrong or bad a lot of the time.”
Attachment-focused Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) offers a powerful tool for healing relational trauma and its associated anxiety. EMDR is a therapeutic approach that helps reprocess traumatic memories and the emotions tied to them, with a focus on how these experiences impact current relationships.
Laurel Parnell is a leading figure in the field of EMDR and is particularly renowned for her work in developing and refining Attachment-Focused EMDR. She recognized that traditional EMDR, while incredibly effective for processing trauma, often needed to be adapted for individuals with insecure attachment styles.
"EMDR is a therapeutic approach that helps reprocess traumatic memories and the emotions tied to them, with a focus on how these experiences impact current relationships."
Parnell’s work emphasizes the importance of understanding how early attachment wounds, such as neglect, abandonment, or inconsistent caregiving, can influence the way a person relates to themselves and others throughout life. These attachment wounds can create a cascade of emotional difficulties, such as anxiety, low self-worth, and difficulties with intimacy.
Attachment-Focused EMDR integrates the principles of attachment theory with the powerful protocols of EMDR, offering a more targeted approach for those suffering from relational trauma. Parnell developed specific strategies to help clients access and process the painful memories associated with attachment disruptions. One key element of this work is the emphasis on creating a sense of safety and trust between the therapist and the client, which is crucial for individuals with attachment wounds.
By fostering a secure therapeutic relationship, attachment-focused EMDR allows clients to reprocess negative attachment experiences and replace them with healthier, more adaptive beliefs about relationships. The goal is not only to alleviate anxiety but to help individuals develop more secure attachment patterns that can positively impact their future relationships and overall emotional well-being. This approach has brought a much-needed depth to EMDR, addressing the underlying relational dynamics that often fuel anxiety and other emotional struggles.
Attachment-Focused EMDR places a strong emphasis on resourcing, which involves helping clients build internal resources that support their emotional regulation and safety during therapy. Resourcing is a vital part of the process, especially for those with attachment trauma, as it helps create a sense of security before delving into deeper, more painful memories. Parnell identifies several specific strategies for resourcing that are designed to strengthen the client’s emotional foundation and capacity for self-regulation.
“Attachment-focused EMDR allows clients to reprocess negative attachment experiences and replace them with healthier, more adaptive beliefs about relationships.”
One of the primary resourcing techniques that attachment-focused EMDR uses is the creation of a Safe Place. This involves guiding clients to imagine and embody a physical or emotional space where they feel calm, protected, and at ease. The safe place can be real or imagined, and it serves as a mental and emotional refuge that clients can mentally return to whenever they feel overwhelmed or triggered. This resource helps build resilience by offering a soothing, safe mental state to return to during the processing of traumatic material.
Another significant resource attachment-focused EMDR integrates is the Inner Nurturing/Parenting figure, which helps clients access the supportive, loving figure they may have lacked in childhood. In this resourcing process, clients are guided to visualize a compassionate, nurturing figure who can offer them unconditional love, care, and protection.
This figure is often represented as an idealized version of a loving parent or caretaker who can provide the emotional comfort and guidance that was missing in the client’s early relational experiences. “For some people, this resource can feel especially challenging to come up with. One of my favorite modifications to draw upon is to imagine watching someone else nurture a child – for example, you might see a mother hugging her child on the subway in New York City and draw inspiration from that”, says Nithyaa Venkataramani.
“Resourcing is a vital part of the process, especially for those with attachment trauma, as it helps create a sense of security before delving into deeper, more painful memories.”
If this approach is resonating with you, you may benefit greatly from finding a therapist that practices EMDR in a way that is informed by attachment issues and how they can impact your treatment. As Nithyaa Venkataramani, LMSW, says, “EMDR has become a very widely sought-after treatment - and for good reason! If you know yourself as a person who experiences dissociation, chronic anxiety and low self worth, a blend of EMDR and attachment-focused approaches may be most beneficial for your healing process.”
If you want to learn more, reach out to book a consultation with a therapist today who can help support you in your journey in healing from attachment wounds.